A Christmas Miracle Part 3

With these new leads and a possible location, Robin began scouring the internet for contact information. With each name found, she would go to Facebook and search. Many hours were spent trying to find some connection to them. Finally, on December 18, on a people search site, she found someone with another brother's name, N.M.  The site listed several family member's names along with his. Thankfully, one of them had a Facebook account that was easily accessible. A quick scan through the "Friends" list revealed a K.M, the very same K.from the My Space pictures!

Robin sent the Facebook link to Diane. Overwhelmed with so many emotions, Diane sent a private message to K. After not getting a response and determined not to lose this opportunity, she took the risky chance of posting a few pictures on his wall.



One of those, was a picture of three little boys. The picture of him with his older brothers was familiar, and removed some of the doubt he had. He sent a response to Diane and they arranged a phone call. For the first time in her life, at 52 years of age, she spoke to her brother. As soon as that conversation ended there was a flurry of activity on Facebook with family connecting for the very first time.

Robin had to wait a couple of days to make her call because all she could do was cry every time she thought about talking to her brother. How wonderful it was for her to finally hear his voice and talk to him after all of these years. Emotions are still very raw and conversations with the other two brother's are waiting to be had, (they don't do Facebook). It will happen in time. There is so much for them to process.

This is where the story gets even more complicated because it is not mine to tell. So it must be told with great care out of respect for the brothers, their mother and the new relationships. (The fact that I am not a story teller or writer also complicates the matter greatly.)

K. was quite stunned to get this message from Diane and he was very confused! For you see, they had never known anything about their father or his whereabouts, the M. family or the name they carry, least of all, the fact that they had three older siblings. That thought had never crossed their minds. Their mother had refused to speak a word to them about it.

It has been shared that these boys grew up longing to know their father. They had a very difficult childhood and many are the emotional wounds they bear. It seems that they have gone to great lengths searching for their dad, and like the searches for them, they always came up empty handed. The impenetrable secrecy and unanswered questions have haunted them their entire lives.

From the responses read and heard, it is known that many prayers have been prayed over the years, both for them and by them, for answers to their many questions so that their hearts could be healed from the scars and wounds of childhood.

While the members of the M. family are thrilled that K, N, and A  have finally been found, the real Christmas miracle is theirs. It is not by chance that these boys have never been forgotten or that family felt compelled to find them. No, they needed desperately to be found, and to be told that they had family all of these years that loved them and had searched for them! They needed to know that they were never forgotten.They needed to know about their dad and they needed closure and healing.

To be found was a "Christmas Miracle" indeed!

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Thank you all for reading this and for your comments. It has been a very emotional few days. I wasn't sure how to write this story so that you could keep the people involved straight. I also needed to make it less personal as it was emotionally draining to do this.

We are so thankful for this opportunity to get to know our brothers and their families. Plans are already being made to see each other face to face. My brother Mike is very sick with his cancer and treatments and our three brothers are very anxious to meet him and offer him encouragement. If I can't make it down to Alabama when they go, they plan to come here to see me on their way back to New York. I look forward to seeing them face to face!.

While our parents, (whom we all love dearly),  made some very bad choices that hurt us deeply as children and even as adults. We are moving forward and, with God's help, we will allow good to come from their mistakes.Uniting this family somehow rights at least part of the wrongs.

Thank you for reading our story!

I hope you all have a very Merry Christmas!

A Christmas Miracle Part 2

Betty's children grew up, married and started having children of their own. Betty's daughter, Robin, kept the cherished picture of the three little boys and often thought of them, wondering where they were. While living in Memphis, Tennessee she once had a coworker whose desk was next to hers with the same first and last name, (K.M.), as one of her brothers. It wasn't him, she had to ask of course, but every day she had the reminder, the nagging reminder, of family lost.

                                                                       
At the M. family reunions the boys were mentioned and missed, especially by their grandparents. A mystery that hung like a dark cloud over otherwise joyous occasions.

The beloved grandparents eventually passed away, but the boys were still not forgotten. An aunt and cousin, along with their half-sisters continued to periodically search for them.

Years passed and the invention of social networking was a welcome blessing for the dispersed M. family. How wonderful to keep in touch and get daily glimpses into each others lives and to see pictures of children and grandchildren.

Periodically they would search the social networking sites trying to find the three brothers, but they always ended up empty handed. In 2009 there was even talk among the sisters and their cousin of hiring a private investigator to see if they could locate them.

December 13, 2011, the older sister, Diane, was once again searching the internet for her brothers and happened upon a people search site with a listing for a K.M. in New York, it also listed relatives that just happened to have the same names as the other two brothers. It also gave the name of a woman along with phone numbers. What were the odds that there could be three other M. men with the very same first names? Excited by this break, she did more searching and found a My Space page that she believed might belong to K.M.'s wife. It wasn't current but there were family pictures! Diane posted the My Space link on her Facebook. Robin went to the pictures and immediately knew that she was finally looking at the face of her long lost brother!

He looked so much like their dad, Jimmy and brother, Mike! Believing it was their K. Diane tried the phone numbers that were listed but none of them were current. Another frustrating dead end...

To be continued...

A Christmas Miracle

Many years ago, a young fifteen year old girl, named Betty,  married her sweetheart, Jimmy. It has been told that he had moved from Louisiana to California and her mother was afraid that she might run off and elope with him. She asked Betty if she loved Jimmy and wanted to marry him. She said yes and it was quickly arranged.

Because they were so young and he had a penchant for alcohol, (and women), their relationship was rather tumultuous.

  Much to the heartbreak of the doting grandparents and family, the marriage ended after five years.

With three young children Betty left Jimmy and went to live with her parents in Alabama.

Shortly thereafter, Betty met and married James. She despised Jimmy and never wanted him to see his children again. She talked James into adopting her three children so they would have his name instead. It has been told that Jimmy loved his children and didn't want them to be adopted but because he was a poor man, he had no means to hire a lawyer and fight it. So it was that the M. children took on the G. name.

Those three children never got to see their dad again. Oh, not that he didn't try!  Desperate to see them on at least two different occasions he showed up when he knew the children were in town, (once at his own sister's home), only to have them whisked away by their mom as if he were a monster about to devour them! The children were smart enough to know that wasn't the case, even at such a young age, they could see the love and pain in his eyes. They knew he loved them.

Eventually, Jimmy met Annette and started a new life. They had three boys together.

At some point, shortly after this picture of the boys was taken, a very unusual thing happened, the picture was sent to Betty's home by Grandma M. It was quickly discarded into a box of pictures, only to be retrieved by a half-sister who felt a curious bond with the little boys of her father and his new wife.

Still having a problem with alcohol, Jimmy and Annette also had a tumultuous marriage. One day, Annette vanished with their three boys, never to be seen or heard from again by anyone in the M. family.

While Jimmy had a problem with alcohol, the rest of the M. family were a loving and devout Christian family. They dearly loved all of Jimmy's children and even though they only saw Betty's children once every few years, those children knew they were cherished and adored. They could feel it to the depths of their soul, because it was the only time they ever felt that type of love. Sitting on that grandmother's lap, head to her chest, and hearing her muffled voice through ears covered in a tight embrace is a cherished memory imprinted on the heart forever.

The children grew older and one day they got a call that their dad, Jimmy, had died from smoke inhalation in a house fire. Arrangements were made and the children were allowed to go to their dad's funeral. The M. family had tried so hard to locate Annette to let her children know about their father, but they still could not find them. Jimmy was laid to rest with pictures of his six children that he never had the opportunity to know.

To be continued...

One Year Ago Today

One year ago today life, as I knew it, changed forever. My precious mother died a horrible death at the hands of the surgeon who botched her surgery and the nurses who overdosed her on morphine, not once, but twice. She eventually died from the pneumonia that was caused when they realized their mistake and flushed her so rapidly that her lungs were filled with fluid. It still stings to know that she should not have died from a case of diverticulitis.

My mother was the glue that held our diverse, dispersed and somewhat dysfunctional family together. After her death a lot of things changed. People changed, relationships changed...things happened that I never thought I would see in my own family. Family hurting family... it just should not be that way.

Something happens deep inside when the people you love the most cause so much pain and heartache, especially when you are already dealing with great loss and horrible tragedy. Basic trust in mankind is greatly damaged and you have to work really hard to trust people again, to heal emotionally and not become bitter.

It has been a difficult year of hard work trying to heal those deep wounds. I have read a lot, prayed often, and listened to probably a hundred sermons on trials and forgiveness. I've made a lot of progress, but I'm not completely there yet. It is a continual work.

Progress has also been made in some of the damaged relationships but things will never be the same. Some relationships will probably never be restored, I have grieved those losses and have come to terms with that. Some things are simply out of my hands.

I struggle at times with being transparent and real, especially about things of such a sensitive nature. The last thing I want is to stir things up and create more trouble, but this has been the reality of my life this past year. God has been so faithful to me during this very dark year of pain and heartache. I have been amazed at the times that God has allowed me to stumble upon the very thing I needed to hear. He has been a healing balm for my soul. I can't imagine going through the pain of this life without my faith in God and hope of eternal life in heaven.Of seeing my mom again and having real restoration and healing once and for all. Oh, glorious day!

Diet Update

This picture was taken October 2009. I am usually the one behind the camera and rarely ever see myself in a picture so this was a rude awakening for me. I had allowed the pounds to creep on. Working part time in a plus size women's clothing store didn't help matters either.

At 192 pounds, I hardly recognized myself anymore, with a round face, double chin, large belly and what I called my bubble butt. I hated it! It was painful to garden and I had difficulty even putting on my shoes. Not only that, I was beginning to have serious health issues. I had become a diabetic and I was having dangerously high blood pressure. My hips, legs and feet hurt all of the time. I felt terrible.

I am a stress eater, and there had been significant, never ending, stress for about four years. I put on 20 pounds in 2009 after my dad's bout with lung cancer, my mother-in-law's nursing home injury and surgery, her significant weight loss and end stage Alzheimer's. My husband also lost his job. I needed a lot of comfort food! I love to eat and I am a sugar/carb addict. The more I eat, the more I crave.

The worst part was the guilt. I have over 100 diet and nutrition books in my personal library and have read many more from the library. I am a health nut wannabe. I was not being true to myself and I felt so incredibly guilty for eating all of the processed junk food. Something had to change.

On January 1, I started a healthy diet plan. Eating only fruits, vegetables, whole grains and lean cuts of meat. No sugar, no coffee and nothing processed. After the first three or four days I no longer had cravings and I started to actually enjoy what I was eating. The weight came off...without exercise. I have lost 35 pounds! Really, I lost a total of 38 but those last few pounds keep fluctuating.

I used the timer on the camera and took a few pictures to record my progress.

The sad part about losing weight is that I can no longer wear my favorite denim jackets and the clothing budget is rather small right now.

These jeans were actually too tight for me and I couldn't wear them when I started my diet. (I had already packed away the larger size.)

I am down four sizes! I know that I still have some weight to lose and it will come off more slowly now, but that is OK. I'm happy! At 48 years old, I never thought I'd see a size 12 again!

The best part is not even the weight loss, but the health benefits. I no longer have high blood pressure and I can control my diabetes with diet so I have not had to get on medications. After seeing my mom suffer for years with diabetes and eventually die from surgery complications due to the disease, I am motivated more than ever to stick with this healthy eating plan.

My next goal is to start exercising consistently. I don't think I'll lose much more weight until I do that. Really, my husband doesn't want me to lose any more weight. I'm 5'7" and I weighed 110 pounds when we got married and he honestly likes the size I am. So my goal now is just to be healthy and more physically fit. If I lose more weight in the process, hopefully he won't mind too much.

I know weight is a very personal and sensitive issue, I hope that I haven't offended anyone by sharing about my weight loss. I wanted to share just in case there are those who might need encouragement to change their diet and get healthier!

Just The Way It Is....

Thank you all for your kind comments, your prayers for my family and your encouragement to me. I wish I could find the words to tell you how much it means to me.



When I first started this blog I wanted it to be a place of beauty and encouragement to those who visited. I shared very little about my personal life. I still want to share the beauty that I capture from my home and garden, but certain aspects of my life right now are difficult and sad.



I'm finding it hard to blog, because I am more in the mood to be contemplative, quiet and withdrawn. It seems that there has been one gut punch after another, and there doesn't seem to be an end in sight.



A couple of days before my mother passed away, my brother, who is 17 months younger than me, had surgery on a mole that had suddenly changed. I found out a few days ago that he has stage 4 melanoma cancer. I'm very worried about him.



Also, I just found out today that a dear cousin has Chrondrosarcoma cancer. He is my cousin, but his wife is my very dear friend. His mass is attached to his chest wall and protrudes about two or three inches, it is quite large. Surgery is not an option right now, hopefully chemo and radiation will shrink the mass. My heart is breaking for them.



I am thankful once again for beautiful distractions. I have walked around my yard for hours at a time with my camera in my hands. It is there, behind the lens, that I can lose myself momentarily.



Please pray for these loved ones of mine. Hopefully one of these days things will calm down and life will return to normal and I'll feel more like blogging again. Right now I have a difficult time thinking and finding the right words to say.

Sad Times.....

Almost eight weeks ago my precious mother went to the hospital for diverticulitis. They treated it for nine days with antibiotics with no success. They did emergency surgery taking a foot of her colon and gave her a colostomy. Because she was a diabetic and had been on Prednisone for almost twenty years, her wound never healed. During her fifth week in the hospital they overdosed her on Morphine giving her 20 mg in four hours. When they discovered their error, they flushed her with fluids so fast they caused her to develop pneumonia. She also got VRE which is a hospital acquired Vancomycin resistant staph infection along with e-coli and Peritonitis. She didn't want to die and fought so hard to overcome all of these obstacles, but she eventually succumbed to the pneumonia that filled her lungs. On Thursday, June 24, my sweet mother passed away.

After seeing her suffer in agonizing pain for weeks on end, it was a relief to the family to finally see her at rest. Because she was a Christian, we know that she is in a better place and we are comforted in that knowledge.

It is still so hard for me to even comprehend this. We have been preparing ourselves for my mother-in-law's death. She is in end stage Alzheimer's and only weighs 73 pounds. I can hardly believe that she has outlived my own mother, who was only 67 years old.

Please keep our family in your prayers. My dad had major lung cancer surgery last year. He is still in a lot of pain, especially after staying at the hospital day and night for so many weeks. He is exhausted and also dealing with anger towards the hospital for the many errors they made that sabotaged my moms health and we believe killed her. He will have many adjustments learning to live without my mom.

Easy Suet Feeder Project and Diet Update

We have had record breaking warm weather for three days this week. The temperature right now is 83° . The trees are blooming and the leaves are shooting out so fast you can almost see them growing.



Who would ever believe that such delicate sweet flowers could smell so bad? Our neighborhood has quite a few Bradford pear trees lining the streets and I smell them as I walk. I also have a few in my own yard. The blooms only last for a few days and then they fall like a spring snow shower.




Gail, from Clay and Limestone asked me about the wood in the picture of the woodpecker that I posted about on Saturday.



It is a suet feeder that I made from a portion of a small diseased maple tree that we cut down last year. I drilled a 1 inch whole that is about an inch deep and attached a screw eye into the wood and I hang it with a large S hook. I stuff it with homemade peanut butter suet. The birds love it and even though I have two suet cages nearby they fight over the suet in this homemade feeder. I'll be making a couple more of these so there won't be as much competition for this one.


For some crazy reason our Internet has gone done every night for the last week right at 8:00 and is down until 8:00 the next morning. I've called AT&T and they are trying to figure out what is happening. It is frustrating because night time is when I usually browse blogs. I've been using this down time to try and organize my pictures. It is amazing how quickly they pile up.

Thank you to all of you who have encouraged me on my diet changes. I am thrilled to say that I have lost 25 pounds since January 1! The best thing is that the diet changes have made a huge difference in my blood pressure and blood sugar. Both of those are staying in the normal range by eating a healthy diet and removing all sweets and simple carbs from the diet. That is a huge relief because the budget right now is tight enough without adding insulin, ($80.00), and blood pressure medication.

Now that it has warmed up I'm walking and finally getting some exercise. The weight loss has slowed so hopefully with exercise, I'll drop the rest of the weight.

Surprisingly, the diet changes really have not been that difficult. I am very, very addicted to sugar, so I never cheat. I just can not allow it. There was a time recently that I just about sat in the floor and cried like a two year old for chocolate, temper tantrum and all! I know better than to go to the grocery store hungry but I had been running errands and forgot to pack my snacks, (usually a small apple, baby carrots and a few raw nuts). The Easter chocolate was everywhere and I wanted, no, I needed some chocolate in the worst kind of way. You ladies know how that is, right? I felt the tears stinging my eyes and felt very deprived and sorry for myself. After firmly telling myself that I was not going to cheat, and reminding myself that being healthy and being thin is so much better than the fleeting taste of chocolate, I wiped the tears and moved on. I try really hard to remember to pack my snacks and my iced green tea or lemon water before leaving the house now.


It feels so nice to be able to bend over and garden without the excess belly fat. I have recently packed away my largest sized clothes and hope to never wear them again!

I hope that you all are enjoying this gorgeous spring weather! I'm about to head outside and do some much needed weeding,


it is amazing how quickly the dandelions have popped up!

Direction Determines Destination

This post is of a personal nature, something that I am not completely comfortable doing on my blog. Not that I want it to be impersonal, but having it open to anyone who happens to stumble upon it is still a bit disconcerting to me. I read quite a few home and garden blogs and I enjoy getting a glimpse into the real lives of those who write them. So, here is a glimpse into my real life right now.

2009 was a very difficult year for my family. It started off with yet another job layoff for my husband, it was the third one in less than four years. (He was in the recreational vehicle industry.) On the heals of that was finding out that my dad had lung cancer and had to have his upper left lobe and three ribs removed along with chemo and radiation. My mother-in-law fell and had to have surgery. She is in the end stages of Alzheimer's and is slowly wasting away at 79 pounds and is dying a very slow and tragic death. Add the financial stress of trying to keep our home and stay on top of the bills and many other things thrown into the stress mix. It was difficult to say the least.

I am very much a stress eater. Also due to the finances, eating cheap was more important than eating healthy, (at least that is what I told myself). Guess what happened? I put on quite a bit of weight on my already over-weight self! At the end of December I weighed more than I have ever weighed in my life, even pregnant! YIKES! Plus I just didn't feel well at all. My immune system was sluggish and I caught everything that was going around. My blood pressure kept getting higher and higher as did my blood sugar. I had no physical or mental energy. I felt absolutely lousy!

This picture was taken by my son in October 2009.

I knew I had to do something or I was headed for some very serious health issues. So, on January 1, I got serious about my diet and health. I'm happy to report that I have done very well with my New Year's goal so far! When I weighed in this morning, I had dropped 11.5 pounds during the month of January!

I have not eaten any sugar, (I use Stevia), nor have I had a single piece of chocolate during the whole month!



I have also given up my beloved coffee, (my only source of caffeine), and replaced it with green tea. I've given up all processed junk food and I'm eating only food that provides real nutrition for my body.

I am an all or nothing kind of person, so I dare not cheat. I am also a sugar and carb addict, a junk food junkie, so I absolutely have to go cold turkey when I do this. Each time I fall off the wagon it gets harder and harder to get back on. (Yes, I've done this several times already. You would think I'd learn!). For me it is all mental. All last year, for the first time in my life I had absolutely no will power and I didn't even care anymore. I thought about food and felt hungry all of the time. It feels so good to have will power and be in control of my appetite again, to do what I know is right for my health.



I am very glad that my blood pressure and blood sugar are normal again. My doctor had prescribed blood pressure medication because my blood pressure was getting as high as 179/111 and I was having pounding headaches. I don't need the medication now.

Constant stress is a killer. It definitely takes a toll on the body, mind and spirit. I am trying to eliminate the unnecessary stress in my life. It seems that some people will continually heap more and more on our plates if we let them. I don't need more on my plate right now, it is already full. I am learning to say no.

I have over 100 books in my personal library on diet, nutrition and health. For some reason, it is a subject that fascinates me. That knowledge is absolutely worthless unless it is applied.



I am spending time each day reading from some of my favorite books on the subject to stay motivated and keep this at the forefront of my mind. I am doing my best to apply that which will benefit me and lead me back to good health. I don't want to just lose weight, I need a complete lifestyle change. Something that I can stick with long term.

My pastor preached a sermon recently about how our choices and our direction determine our destination. Life is made up of simple choices, those choices that we make eventually determine what we are. I am now reaping what I have sown in my poor choices regarding my diet and health.

Proverbs 27:12 The prudent see danger and take refuge, but the simple keep going and suffer for it.

I am trying to remember this simple lesson as I change my life one choice at a time.

Happy Days Are Here Again!!!

It has been a very good, (and busy), week here at Robin's Nesting Place. We had a week long visit from my parents and niece and we finally got the call we had been waiting for! Kerry was offered a position with a company that he has desired to work for for several years now! He starts work on Monday! Things definitely worked out for the better in this case. He enjoyed his other job, but he was considered self-employed and therefore had no company benefits. After having been with a great company for 15 years, a job with no benefits greatly bothered me. I really missed having the perks that a larger company afforded. I'm so thankful that he is now going to have those "perks" again. We are so thankful that the unemployment didn't drag out any longer than it did. We are also very thankful that we can stay right here in our beloved city of Noblesville. I think I'm finally beginning to breath normally again.

We have several friends close to us who are still unemployed. Some are in the same industry as Kerry and a few are not. It is very tough economic times for many people. Our prayers continue to be with those who are still waiting.